Sep 18 2011


Published by at 9:35 pm under Lifestyle & Values

Greetings, Cool Peeps!

Can we have a moment of quiet? I’m listening to something: “Me, me, me, me, me!”
Is that an opera singer warming up or a narcissist talking?

Doesn’t it seem that, more and more, we live in an it’s-all-about-me world?

Recently, my friend Tony was telling me about his friend Ian, who never stops talking about himself and has no interest in what others had to say or what they are doing. With high hopes, Tony and his friend Andy planned an intervention. They were going to confront Ian with the truth about himself, in hopes of helping him to see the light.

“How did the intervention go?” I asked. “Was Ian upset when the two of you lit into him?”

“Hell, no!” Tony exclaimed. “He loved it! You know why, Molly? Because we were still talking about him!”

There’s a difference between peeps who can be a little full of themselves at times and full-blown narcissists. As you may know, the term “narcissism” comes from a tale in Greek mythology, in which the gorgeous young Narcissus shunned all romantic prospects, only to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool.

Personally, I know far too many peeps who see their own face everywhere they look. Remember Cole Porter’s song “You’re the Top?” Take a listen and just substitute every “you’re” with “I’m.” That’s a narcissist.

Narcissists are often charming. I’ve met many whom I thought were just delightful the first or second time around. Some are natural-born raconteurs who not only have done exciting things, but also excel in talking about them. But here’s the thing. After a while, as much as you’ve enjoyed their stories, you notice that they don’t even know your last name. Or your first. They aren’t the least bit curious about your life, and their only interest in you is as an audience or because there’s something they think you can do for them.

I once was roped into a blind date with a narcissist. This dude talked nonstop about himself throughout dinner. He was so bad I couldn’t even ask him a question about HIM. He was like a volcano, gushing forth with more self-centered prattle than I’d ever heard. I managed to interject an “oh” and a “really” a couple of times, and the only other time I spoke was to order my meal. At the end of the miserable evening, he turned to me and said, “Molly, you’re a fascinating conversationalist. We’ll have to do this again!”

My first instinct was to think he was being sarcastic. But then I realized that he had no clue I had barely spoken a word. I put up with him (for the sake of the louse who forced me into the date), and he truly had a great time. I started to say something to him, but then I decided that my wheels didn’t need spinning; I just wanted to go home. I can be freakin’ fascinating (you know that, cool peeps, ha ha), but the irony is that if I had offered that bummer of a date any scintillating talk that wasn’t about him, he would have found me to be a complete bore.

I once asked a psychiatrist how many true narcissists were ever cured – or if he’d ever seen it in his career. “On the head of a pin,” he told me. “On the head of a pin.”

It seems as if our society is more narcissistic than ever. Social media seems to shine a light on narcissists or those prone to narcissistic behavior in a big way. We’ve all seen it on Twitter, Facebook, and many other sites. I guess the good thing here is that people tell you who they are and what they’re all about very quickly. You don’t have to know them for years only to be blindsided with the revelation.

When I first started at the Swansea Herald, I had a Twitter page to keep up with what was happening in the world. Although it’s called social media, lots of peeps forget about the “social” part, but they sure get the ME-dia part. I was getting really tired of following peeps who would immediately send me back a DM (direct message) telling me to check out their book, CD, website, blog, business, become their fan on Facebook, etc. Are you freakin’ kidding me? How about you take the effort to get to know me first? Just a little? How about hello? Or do we just skip all of that and get to what I can do for you? Would these same all-about-me peeps be so blatant to walk up to me at a gathering and say “Check out my site” to my face without saying hello? Or “Hi, I’m a complete stranger. You know nothing about me or my work. But I want you to be my fan. Now.”

Let’s get real. We’re all human beings worthy of attention, and there’s nothing wrong with taking moments here and there to talk about ourselves or plug our work. That’s totally cool with me. But some peeps sadly forget or are blissfully unaware that no one is in this world alone.

I hear more “Me me me me me” all the time. How about you? What are your observations? Do you think we’ve become more of a narcissistic society than ever? Can we do anything about it? Am I being too picky?

See you next week.

Yours in pickiness,


18 responses so far

18 Responses to “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME”

  1. Stuart Ross McCallumon 19 Sep 2011 at 2:03 am

    Hello Molly,

    Your date of sorts sounded like an absolute nightmare. He didn’t need a dining partner, just a mirror, so he could see himself while talking. 🙂

    The Internet and social media have changed our world vastly. I have connected with some of the most genuine, talented, and caring people via, Facebook, Twitter, etc….many who have become fabulous friends. Social media has also created a platform where the ‘all about me’ types can, and do, shout out about how wonderful they are. Thankfully, unlike real life, one click and the narcissistic person is gone—-only to be replaced by another 10 eagerly awaiting.

    Thank you Molly, for providing, once again, fabulous and timely entertainment.

    Best, Stuart 🙂

  2. Juliaon 19 Sep 2011 at 5:28 am

    That’s a pretty funny story about Ian loving the intervention; too funny! Okay, also not funny… because I agree, there does seem to be a lot of narcissim which fits in with the seeming need for immediate gratification in today’s world. Maybe fueled by technology? I am usually untouched by all of it (for better or worse) because I spend so much solitary time as a writer. As for what to do about it? For me, choosing carefully who I do and don’t spend time with.

  3. Mollyon 19 Sep 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Hey Julia:

    Thanks for stopping by. I don’t think technology creates narcissism as much as it fuels it — as you mentioned. As my BFF coworker Randy always tells me, at least social media helps us to see people for who they are much more quickly. I think that’s true. I’m with you, g/f, CAREFULLY choose the peeps you want to spend time with!

    Yours in pickiness,

  4. Leigh Annon 19 Sep 2011 at 11:04 am

    Wow, Molly, so very insightful! Thanks for this; you can really be so intuitive and thoughtful! You added a lot of information about this (habit/quirk/disorder?) that I didn’t know.

    And as for you on your date with the ingrate who couldn’t stop talking about himself, it reminded me of that Carly Simon song, “You’re so vain.” Isn’t that the one that is supposedly about Warren Beatty? The Cole Porter tune was new to me and I absolutely love it . . ..

  5. Mollyon 19 Sep 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Hey Leigh Ann:

    Glad you enjoyed this week’s blog, g/f. Actually, the song “You’re So Vain” wasn’t about Warren Beatty, though peeps speculated it was about him, Mick Jagger, Kris Kristofferson or Cat Stevens because they were all Carly’s ex-beaus. After 38 years, she told the world it was about record producer David Geffen.

    Glad you enjoyed the Cole Porter song! My grandad used to sing that to me when I was young. I had no idea what most of it meant — but I just knew it meant he loved me.


  6. Sheri Wilkinsonon 19 Sep 2011 at 11:40 am

    I really, REALLY enjoyed this topic. First I must say I agree with Stuart, with social media you can “click the person off”. I find one who can not walk past a mirror without saying…..”oh I look so hot” or how about the one who cuts you off mid sentence to ask “Doesn’t my hair look fabulous today!” Leigh Ann, I agree You’re so Vain (Carly Simon) could be the theme song for the fellow Narcissists out there…once again Molly you start MY week off with a smile. And to all you Narcissistic peeps out there….I am really ignoring you when I say “ah-huh , ah-huh, yeah your right……”

  7. Mollyon 19 Sep 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Hey Sheri:

    Love seeing you here, g/f. You’re so right: it’s a lot easier to just say “Yeah, right” with a narcissist than to get into it. Besides, as illustrated with Tony’s friend Ian, why give a N more of what they want — talk about THEM!

    You take good care!


  8. Dellani Oakeson 19 Sep 2011 at 2:19 pm

    I agree completely! Now, enough about you. How about we talk about me??

    (Just kidding, truly!) Dellani

  9. Mollyon 19 Sep 2011 at 3:32 pm

    Ha ha ha, Dellani. Sure, I’d love to talk about you! 🙂

  10. Christa Polkinhornon 20 Sep 2011 at 12:26 am

    Great post and I adore those manipulated photos–Molly Hacker on top of Mount Rushmore and Molly Mona Lisa. LOL!

  11. Mollyon 20 Sep 2011 at 12:34 am

    Hey Christa:

    Thanks, g/f. I’ll pass on kudos to the artist. Didn’t you hear the news that Mount Rushmore was now Molly Rushmore and the Mona Lisa is now officially the “Molly Lisa.” It’s totally ALL about ME . . NOT!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Yours in pickiness,


  12. Christa Polkinhornon 20 Sep 2011 at 4:31 am

    That’s right and there is the Statue of Molly. LOL!

  13. mark coteon 20 Sep 2011 at 12:43 pm

    Thank You Molly,

    This was all too painfully true! Funny and sad at the same time.


  14. Mollyon 20 Sep 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Thank you so much, Mark. The truth hurts sometimes; that’s for sure!

    Yours in pickiness,


  15. Carmina Sanchezon 22 Sep 2011 at 10:54 pm

    Oh this post is great, thx Molly for sharing your adventures!!!

  16. Tom Oliveron 25 Sep 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Good article! And an important cautionary tale for those of us who get sucked in by narcissists.

  17. "Ollie" (Garry Oliver)on 25 Sep 2011 at 1:37 pm

    A super article! I love it! And, I hope a lot of my narcissist friends will read it…those people who are talking so much about themselves all the time that they don’t even notice how important I am. I am tired of folks who never see the absolute greatness in me!

  18. "Ollie" (Garry Oliver)on 25 Sep 2011 at 2:26 pm

    Response to myself: “A bird that continually has to call attention to itself or describe itself, is not much of a bird. If a bird simply gets on with what it is created to do, everyone will know it is a bird by reason of its flying.”

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