Aug 21 2011
SUPERMARKET SHUFFLE
Greeting, Cool Peeps:
Today we’re going to the supermarket. Although we all shop in different stores around the globe, I’m betting we have some of the same peeves. And I’ve no doubt that you, my awesome readers, will have your own delightful peeves to share.
Last night I worked late. I was exhausted, but I was out of everything and anything one can be out of: a trip to the supermarket was inevitable. All I wanted was to run in the store, grab some cat food for Captain Jack and go quickly through my list with no pain. That’s when I saw the sign implying that all products in the store had been rearranged for “the customers’ convenience.” Are you freakin’ kidding me? I had finally memorized the location of almost everything in the store from the last time they shuffled the goods for “the customers’ convenience” and now, once again, I was forced to play undercover detective and search high and low for every last item I needed. Why do they do that? I’d like to go into the homes and offices of the executives who make these decisions, switch everything around when they’re not looking, and see how convenient that is!
I’ll tell you something else I learned, and it isn’t pretty. One day, I saw this woman shopping. I watched as she reached into several bins at the salad bar and picked out things like olives, cherry tomatoes, sliced cucumbers, and cheese cubes, as if they were party hors d’oeuvres. It didn’t seem to faze her that she was touching food that other peeps would be eating. When I mentioned this to my friend who works in the produce department, she told me that the employees had been instructed not to say a word to the loyal customers for fear of upsetting them or losing their business. But nobody seemed to care if they were contaminating food for other “loyal customers.” Yet, if an employee were to catch someone down on their luck doing the same thing, it was okay to have said person physically removed from the store. That’s not right. Nobody should be touching the food. And this is why I’m not keen on salad bars. Or some store policies.
How many of you use the self-checkout? It’s supposed to be quicker, but every time I have tried it, this woman’s voice (the sister of the she-devil in my GPS) tells me that I need to scan some item I’ve already scanned (as if I’m stealing it), or a perishable item is not labeled with a code for weighing, the machine won’t accept my card, and on and on. Why do they call it self-checkout when invariably you have to call the attendant to help you through the muddled mess? Yeah, I know, lots of peeps go through self-checkout with no problems. Yours truly isn’t one of them.
Now, let me just say a few words about the customers. Peeps, please do the world a favor: stay with your freakin’ cart! Do not block aisle 6 with your cart while you run over to aisle 11 for some paper towels, bump into your neighbor, and stand there and discuss your other neighbors. Remember, there are peeps back in aisle 6 (and I’m likely one of them) trying to get by.
While I’d love to rant on, I’m saving space for a huge pet peeves: peeps who do not return their carts leaving them to block parking spaces or roll into someone’s car. This just incenses me! I’m very sure that the shoppers who leave their carts where they can damage another car are the ones who scream the loudest when their cars are damaged.
I’m out of space, though I’ve got lots more to say. So I’m counting on you, cool peeps, to carry on with the writing of this blog. I know you’ve got lots of stories, gripes, wishes, and dishes to share. I’m going to sit back now and let you entertain me. You always do!
See you next week.
Yours in pickiness,
Molly
Wow Molly o_O can you pick ’em.
There certainly are a few that spring to mind. Helping yourself to ‘a’ grape to check if they are sweet, I think, isn’t too bad but I saw this lady at the checkout with just a stalk left in the bag! How is that going to get weighed SMH. It’s Just stealing.
The other pet peeve is purchasing a certain habitual product which is only available in the 8 items or fewer lane. So if you are doing a trolley load- ‘Sorry’, you have to go and wait again in another queue after you have already had to wait an insane amount of time because some person has realized they have forgotten something VITAL while being served and dashed off to like the farthest corner of the store – leaving us all waiting for ‘ye royal twit’ to return. Another SMH moment!
Oh….and finally 🙂 Summer time – OMG – Guys and B.O. Nothing worse than in the fresh produce section and you get a whiff! HORRID.
Thanks Molly, I feel much better now 😉
Hey Lisa:
Thanks so much for stopping by! And you’re first, too! Ha ha!
You touched on something that I just didn’t have room for in my blog — eating stuff before you weigh it. There are several women who fill up the salad bar containers with stuff for their kids to munch on while they shop. I see it all the time. I mentioned in my blog that the supermarket employees were instructed not to admonish regular customers from putting their filthy paws on the food. Well, they are also instructed not to admonish women who feed their kids food that they don’t pay for. I agree, it’s stealing. But you better believe that if a different kind of customer takes even the smallest thing, the police are called.
Oh, yeah, I love the peeps who run to the farthest corner of the store for something. When I forget something, I just tell whoever is behind me to go ahead. I hate being the one to hold up a line!
Great comment, g/f.
YIP,
Molly
Molly, Honey, they are not re-arranging that store to help us. They are definitely making our lives miserable. And, what’s with the maps they give us to get around in the store, hell I am not on a road trip. I rather just wait until someone leaves things lying around, that way I will not have to walk very far.
The nerve of them leaving the basket in the aisle. I would kick it right down to the last one. And while it’s speeding, at the speed of lightning, all the food would be replaced back where it came from, “except those two items”. We all know executive don’t know where their, did I say that Molly, where nothing is. Being out of place would do them some good. That’s right up their assley. Some people will hit your car with the cart, look at you like you better not say anything. Like you would say Molly, “I think not”… Thanks for sharing your blog with us again. I always enjoy what you are talking about, so far out.
Talatha
Talatha:
You are hysterical, g/f. I think they rearrange the store so that some people can validate their job and shout-out that they’ve made some kind of major improvement. All I can say is that in the many times the freakin’ products are moved around, none of it has ever improved my shopping experience. Oh, those maps they give us when we ask what ever become of soup, for example? That make me go quietly ballistic. You are so right — not a road trip. I want to get in and I want to get OUT! I do not need to scan a long long to find the number of the aisle and then spend ten minutes finding the aisle.
Thanks for a great comment.
YIP,
Molly
Hey Molly:
As always, your topics are something we can all relate to, some good, some bad, but we can all identify.
Supermarkets are a place we all visit often. I am the type of shopper who prefers the ease of a basket, which enables me to spend as little time as possible. With limited space, I am on the lookout for a bargain. This is where it becomes awry, in order to receive a decent price, I must purchase ridiculous quantities. I point-blank refuse to buy, a dozen bottles of juice, seventy two rolls of toilet paper, four roast chickens etc….I just want a fair price.
Thank you Molly, for a wonderful escape into your world. In addition, of course, an opportunity for your readers to share/vent. 🙂
Hey Stuart:
Love seeing you here. You know, I like the ease of a basket, too. Except every time I opt for a basket, I end up filling with heavy stuff I didn’t intend to buy. And that hurts my arm and my back. And that makes Molly an unhappy girl. In fact, dare I say, it makes Molly a “basket case!”
See you next time,
YIP,
Molly
You hit most of my pet peeves (although I hadn’t ever thought of the salad bar issue, thank goodness I never buy salads at the grocery store — now one more reason not to!)…. but two you missed: (1) people who reach around me when I’m picking out produce or something from a shelf, and they don’t say anything, just push by. (2) people who talk loudly on their cell phones, especially when checking out or blocking aisles…. why I try to only go to the store very early a.m. or very late… apparently I’m the picky one 🙂
Hey Julia:
Great to see you. Oh, I missed lots of my own peeves, believe me. In trying to keep my blog a reasonable length, I sadly must forgo much that pains me. Ha ha. OMG! So funny you mentioned people reaching around me. I had completely forgotten about this dude who reached around me to grab some peaches. Only he didn’t care about the peaches; he was trying to hit on me. UGH! As soon as he started making double entendres about the feel of the peaches, I walked quickly away. He was so upset that his pickup mission failed that in putting the peaches back (without looking at what he was doing), he created and avalanche of peaches and plums in the produce department. I was so LMAO but I wouldn’t have been if I’d still been standing next to him where the blame might have fallen on me. Sorry to go off on a tangent, but that was one memory I’d forgotten all about.
Yours in pickiness,
Molly
Molly,
I am right there with you, and Julia, I am the same…early morning or late night. The rude people just irk me. I am very courteous, If I have a cart full of goods, and I see a person with one or two items, I always let them pass me. It irks me when I am the one with one item and “Miserable Momma” with two shopping carts and 3 screaming children, just won;t let me pass. Yes that irk me, parents who don;t control their children and let them man-handle all the produce. One time I saw a small child pick up an apple, lick it and put it back….makes me want to grow a garden. Thanks for the great topic!
Sheri
Hey Sheri:
Girlfriend, you have me LOL @ “makes me want to grow a garden.” Yes, peeps, this is why we thoroughly wash EVERYTHING! I always see peeps who don’t use tongs to choose bread or rolls, and it’s hard to “thoroughly wash” bread, you know? Oh, so much!
YIP,
Molly
The reorganization of items can really so frustrating, especially when I planned to run in/out — and then get inside and discover nothing is where it was. A half hour later, I’m searching for the item I had planned to buy in 5 minutes. Employees can be a great help — if I can locate employees. Worse, is staring at the (seemingly) thousands of brands on the shelves without finding the one I want. Or when an employee walks over and immediately pulls it out, after I’ve been staring at the shelf 20 minutes. Or being told by an employee it’s there — and returning to stare some more and not find it. Having a range of choices is a wonderful thing. Being unable to distinguish one from another is a headache. I wonder if reorganizing items is designed to force us to stay in the store longer and spend more. It does not have affect me that way — it leads me to online shopping instead.
My husband — you know him, Molly — is the definition of patience. He has taken over our grocery shopping in recent years. I used to have a tight hold on the grocery shopping so I could ring the last penny out of every purchase. I would stare at the shelves, calculate sizes vs. prices in my head, and save a few bucks on every purchase, returning home with that gleeful feeling of accomplishment that accompanies great feats of endurance and courage. Then bit by bit my husband took over the grocery shopping altogether. His way of shopping is to look at the shelf, see something he wants, reach for it, put it in the cart and pay for it. If I ask him what something cost, he generally has no idea. Unlike my choices, which were tried and true from decades of experience, he often experiments, selecting new items each week. Some turn out to be gems, some turn out to be awful, and some turn out to be a waste.
So a couple of months ago, I went to the grocery store instead, armed with my shopping list. The first thing I noticed was: nothing was where it used to be. Looking for my items was like walking through those garden mazes you’ve seen on European estates. Around and around I went, locating nothing. The second thing I noticed was that everything was two and three times the price I remembered from 2 years ago. There used to be a pretty good range of prices on the shelf, from the store brands to the designer brands. Now everything was one price: too expensive. The third thing I noticed was that, once I located the section with the type of food I wanted, it stretched on and on to infinity. Yet the brand I wanted – the one for which I had a coupon – was nowhere to be located. I stared at shelves like a deer in headlights, until all shapes, letters, lines, and colors just sort-of blurred together into a montage of insanity.
By the time I got home with the groceries – 4 hours later – my head was spinning, my feet were screaming, and my stomach was turning flips.
So now instead of complaining about the extra money my husband spends each time he shops, I say a little prayer of thanks each time he walks out the door, contemplating how abundant is my life that I have someone ELSE to do the shopping and that I am able to use my valuable time for far more beneficial pursuits, which are, from my perspective, just about any other activities.
Joy
Hey Joy:
You bring up a great subject. I try to quickly glance at prices and get the better deal — esp. if comparable products are on sale. Especially BIG sales. But to stand there in the aisles and read labels like they were a novel is not the way this girl needs to spend her time. I will check out nutritional information, but that’s for health reasons, not so much for $$ reasons. Years ago, I had a girlfriend/neighbor who I would shop with. She liked to call herself a “comparison shopper.” She was a time waster of epidemic proportions. I used to just DIE standing there waiting for her to choose a freakin’ product. It was like she was analyzing moon samples in the aisle. Made me crazy. I stopped shopping with her, and it was hard to make excuses why I didn’t want to go together, esp. when we shopped at the same time. But getting back to what you wrote — yeah, just your husband take care of it and save yourself the stress of worrying. There’s no price tag on the serenity you achieve from sending him in your place. Especially when he’s just a little bit less stressable than you. Ha ha!
YIP,
Molly
Hey Molly,
I have the same peeves! I absolutely LOVE going to the supermarket and walking down EVERY SINGLE aisle (the ex bf used to hate when I do that) but hey, I just love seeing all the new products and things that I think I must have/now NEED. But recently, coming to grad school, I haven’t had the time/luxury of going down every aisle, instead just want to grab and go… but people seem to ALWAYS block the aisles with their carts… honestly, why oh WHY do you have to place your cart in the MIDDLE of the aisle? Just go off to the side or something! And of course… there’s always people with MORE than 15 items in the 15 items or less line.. AGH I hate that! or when people don’t push the cart back to the station after they’re done and just leave it at the end of the check stand… COLLISION!!! The ultimate worst, is when I go to Costco and people push their cart straight into your heel.. OUCH! that’s probably the most painfully thing ever… honestly people, watch where you’re going! If these people push their carts like they do driving vehicles…. oh Lord have mercy!
Til next time,
xoxox
Hey Janet:
Thanks for stopping by, soul sister. You know, I have a friend whose favorite thing to do on vacation is to see what supermarkets are like in another city. Especially when she travels abroad. I know you’ve been all over the world — do you find the difference fascinating? I do enjoying seeing how different places carry different items, but unlike my friend, I don’t take a day of vacation to check out supermarkets. Oh, well . . .
I wonder all the time why peeps must block the aisles with their carts — I think we live in a very me, me, me world, where all that peeps think about is what’s convenient for them at that moment.
Oh, and you just HAD to mention heel pushers. You’re not kidding that hurts.
Thanks for stopping by; you always make my day.
YIP,
Molly
Hi Molly!!
Sorry for the kinda late reply 😛
You have hit on a topic which was the bane of my existence for 6 years. While studying through high school and university, I worked at my local supermarket. The people that visited my supermarket used to make me constantly thinking about what the hell was going through their minds.
The aisle blockers were bad, the trolley heel smashers were the worst, especially when you had to stand on that heel for hours after being hit by one of the rampaging 2.5 kid bearing soccer mums who rushed in to get their overweight child a microwavable meal for dinner so that she could watch the TV all night.
My favourite of all the weird people were the ones who would go into the toiletries aisle and use the deodorants and aftershave like they were test bottles, just cos they were too cheap to buy them.
Oh and one more thing which really used to annoy me, was the people who would get a trolley to put all their groceries in, take the trolley to the register, unpack the groceries onto the register, then once finished carry all their bags to the car leaving the trolley blocking the next customer from moving through to the cashier!!
Great topic again Molly!
James
Hey James:
Better late than never! I missed seeing you this week.
Ah, so you had the delightful experience of working with some of these lovely customers every day. For six years. Wow!
People using toiletries in the aisles? Are you freakin’ kidding me? I’m curious. What did the store do if they caught someone in the act?
When I go to the supermarket, even when I’m in a hurry, I’ll put a cart/trolley back in the return area even if it’s not mine. Doesn’t hurt to do a good deed and save someone’s car from being damaged.
It really bothers me when people use the carts to take their groceries home and then abandon them on the streets. That’s just wrong and it costs everyone.
Getting clipped on the heel is bad enough, but if anyone ever clips my Jimmy Choos, there’s gonna be hell to pay. Bad enough I had that incident with a broken heel in a recent blog. (I try never to wear my Choos to the supermarket, but sometimes, I just forget if I’m rushing home from work.)
Sorry to digress. You just make me want to blab all night, James. I love talking with you.
Yours in pickiness,
Molly
Hi Molly. Don’t forget the women that leave their cart, with their pocketbook in it. Then if you are anywhere around, they look at you like you’re going to take it!
Hey Paula:
Thanks for stopping by! OMG, women who leave their purses in their carts. I have actually gone up to women and told them to be careful. Most say, “thanks, you’re right,” but others will say, “Oh, I was only gone a minute.” Well, that’s all it takes to disappear!
Now that you mention it, I do look at the purses a bit funny — not because I’m casing the cart for a heist, but because I want to tell them to be more freakin’ careful.
Great comment!
Yours in pickiness,
Molly
As usual Molly you have another great blog.
I personally hate shopping, hate crowds and the rudeness of people but do have a really big pet peeve.
That is people who allow their children to stand up in or on the cart. This is such a safety hazard and once when I was working for the local Home Depot asked the mother politely to have her 18 month old child sit down in the cart. I am telling you this baby was balanced precariously on the sides of the cart. She grabbed the baby and began jamming it into the cart. At the same time calling me all kinds of names including but not limited to a Nazi, she grabbed her kids and went rushing out stating that she was going to shop someplace that didn’t have Nazis like me working there.
Thank you for the entertaining experience once again.
Hey Marta:
Great to see you here, g/f. You’re the BEST! You have touched on something very important about the kids in precariously dangerous situations. Some peeps think that the rules are made for other people’s kids but not theirs. You were right and brave to say something to that woman — peeps do not like to be told they’re not handling their kids right, esp. when the person telling them is RIGHT!
Love seeing you, as always,
YIP,
Molly
I completely agree with the peeves. I also get annoyed with people who stand and converse, blocking an aisle. Though I do sometimes stand and talk to a friend in the store, we don’t block, we move if someone comes along. Of couples who argue about the freshness of the sweet potatoes… Yeah, been there.
I get really annoyed with people who leave their carts and go off somewhere else. WHY? You need to put the item in the cart anyway! Take the wretched thing with you down the aisle and put your stuff in it as you go, like normal people shop. My mother-in-law does that & I loathe it. I make sure I push & follow her. She thinks I’M weird!? Oh well….
Rude people who huff & puff about how long my checkout is taking, that annoys me too. I had one old man come up behind, as I was paying, and he said, “Are we gonna be here all day?” (he’d been there roughly 30 seconds). I smiled brightly and said, “Yes, we’re having a party at the register. Would you like to come?” He shut up rather quickly. ;P
Hey Dellani:
Great to see you here! Ha ha! I loved your comment to the guy at check-out. Way to shut him up! I actually enjoy long waits at check-out (SOMETIMES) because it gives me a chance to speed read magazines that I wouldn’t ever purchase, but love taking a wee peek at! 😀
So glad you feel my cart-blocking-aisle pain! Seriously, leaving a freakin’ cart is like leaving a car in the middle of the road. You just don’t do it!
Thanks so much for stopping by!
Yours in pickiness,
Molly