Jul 24 2011


Published by at 10:02 pm under Lifestyle & Values

Greetings, Cool Peeps:

This week’s blog isn’t about what you do after a fight with your loved one (kiss and make up) but rather about kissing and makeup.

Before I was at the age that I ever kissed anyone (except in my daydreams), I did, of course, ponder the act of kissing from all angles, especially the makeup angle. However, my fantasies came from two sources: by observing my now-thrice-divorced aunt Pauline and by watching TV.

Let me start with Pauline. It is unbelievable that she and my mother are from the same parents. Freakin’ unbelievable. But I digress. Pauline, in her never-ending quest to snare a man, wears copious amounts of makeup, not to mention grotesque fake eyelashes. Pauline had her first divorce when I was ten. As a child, I had a secret suspicion that her marriage failed because no man wanted to kiss the layers of red lipstick that she constantly reapplied.

So peeps, stay with me here. When I was fifteen, my mother, the consummate hostess, had a party to celebrate her friend Susan’s fortieth birthday. An hour into the gala, Susan was alarmed when her boyfriend disappeared. And who disappeared right along with him? Yup. Pauline.

In no time at all, Susan found them — together, in the freakin’ pantry. Susan’s cheating boyfriend was not only red-faced from embarrassment but he was wearing Pauline’s lipstick all over his face. Oh, the clueless cheat also had no idea that one of my aunt’s false eyelashes was stuck to his forehead. You should have seen Pauline’s face when she noticed it! Ah, a moment divine.

Everyone at the party was horrified, but the biggest problem was that most of the peeps were trying not to laugh their asses off in front of poor Susan. Anyway, her cheating b/f ended up being Pauline’s second husband. That blissful union lasted for three years, two of them in divorce court.

Okay, so, as you can see, I had some grotesque early images about kissing that still mess with my mind today. But I think about it. Usually, when I am kissing a man, I haven’t just applied lipstick. However, I can’t help wondering how men feel about that. Anyone out there brave enough to share?

And now, a few words about makeup on TV and in the movies. I cannot tell you how many times makeup issues ruin films and TV shows for me. Did you ever see Girl, Interrupted? It’s a true story about this girl’s stay in a mental institution in the ‘60s. Winona Ryder plays Susanna Kaysen and Angelina Jolie is this off-the-wall chick named Lisa.

So, of course Angelina wore makeup, but they made her up to look crazy and beautiful. The point is, she didn’t look as if she had just “put on her face.” But Winona’s character was always so perfectly made up. I haven’t seen the film since it came out in 1999, but I still remember her lying in bed, with perfect makeup and glistening lip gloss. No way she would have been all glammed up at that point in the film. No freakin’ way. Why does Hollywood spend millions to make movies and then have their women made up so inappropriately? I think I know the answer, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Lastly, I’d like to touch upon the women on soap operas. Haven’t watched in years, but I can’t tell you how many times I saw a character lying in bed with a fully made-up face. Peeps, even my aunt Pauline washes the stuff off at night. Nobody goes to bed with a face full of makeup. Aside from the damage to one’s skin, it’s a great way to ruin your sheets. Even more absurd is a woman waking up with her war paint intact. That’s not quite as bad as a character wearing a bandage after lifesaving brain surgery and having their full head of hair back in a week. But it’s close. And I’m out of space.

Let’s just keep it real, shall we? Please, peeps, tell me your thoughts. You know I love hearing from all of you.

See you next week.

Yours in pickiness,


13 responses so far

13 Responses to “KISS AND MAKEUP”

  1. Stuart Ross McCallumon 25 Jul 2011 at 12:46 am

    G’day Molly,

    Thank you, for an always interesting and (slightly quirky) look at life. The false eye lash attached to the guys head is brilliant.

    Which reminds me of a movie made in 1972 (a bit before your time) titled, Butterflies are Free, starring Goldie Hawn. A blind man moves into his own apartment against the wishes of his overprotective mother, and befriends the freethinking young woman next door, (Goldie Hawn).

    The scene which is pertinent to today’s post is when they become close together on the couch. In order to imagine what she looks like, he began to rub her face and hair. That is the point where all the – fake – fashion accessories dropped to the floor, hair, eye lashes, etc. Resulting in a very confused young man.

    Yes. I agree Molly, let’s keep it real.

    Thanks again, Stuart 🙂

  2. Mollyon 25 Jul 2011 at 11:13 am

    Hey Stuart,

    Thanks so much for stopping by.

    Just loved your description of that scene in “Butterflies are Free.” I often watch old movies with my boy, Captain Jack, so I’ll be sure to check that one out. Just picturing the gropefest you describes sounds exactly like what must have gone on in the closet with my aunt Pauline, only it had no resemblance, I’m sure, to anything tender, delicate, or innocence. But then again, that would negate the use of the word gropefest. I’ve had some dates who . . . oh, I won’t even go there!

    Loved your comment.

    Yours in pickiness,

  3. Marty Beaudeton 25 Jul 2011 at 7:09 am

    Maybe that’s why so many men go straight for what’s below the chin! 😉

    Of course, being gay, I can only speculate!

  4. Mollyon 25 Jul 2011 at 11:15 am

    Hey Marty,

    Ha ha ha. My BFF coworker Randy is still rolling in the aisles at your comment. Oh, I’m supposed to tell you . . .are you freakin’ kidding me, Randy? I’m not going to say that on my blog! Oh, well, never mind. Great to meet you! Thanks for stopping by.

    Yours in pickiness,
    Molly (and Randy, too!)

  5. Sheri Wilkinsonon 25 Jul 2011 at 9:39 am

    I agree with you …lets keep it real. I have several theories on why Hollywood likes to keeps its starlets looking perfect. For one I think it is vanity…when you see a before (make up) and after it can appear to be two different people. Take a 12 year old girl, add some make up and she can appear to be 18. My second theory is the lighting issue of movie making. I am thinking that a person may look more pale, show more (skin) flaws under the bright lights? IDK…just my thoughts on this issue….Great topic!

  6. Mollyon 25 Jul 2011 at 11:18 am

    Hey Sheri:

    Always love when you stop by. I agree with your thoughts, and vanity is huge. It just never ceases to amaze me how Hollywood will spend millions to make a film REAL, and then completely destroy the illusion by having someone perfectly made up who should look anything but good. Vanity indeed!

    Great to hear from you.


  7. James Morrisonon 25 Jul 2011 at 4:18 pm

    Hey Molly,

    I am still dying laughing at the fake eyelash on the forehead! That is one of the funniest stories I have heard in a very long time. And the picture is hilarious too.
    As for the make-up topic, I believe less is more. Someone I know used to go out with a girl who used to cake on the make up like it was spack filler (wall putty).

    You could tell for a mile away she was wearing make-up, to be honest I’m surprised she wasn’t continually falling on her face because it seemed like it was so much heavier 😛

    As for make-up in movies, I guess I just take it with a grain of salt. I know movies aren’t real, and the make-up on the faces of the actors in the movie are all just a part of it 😀 I would assume that the movie producers would want their starlets to look as good as possible so that people continue to go to see movies which have their favourite celebrities looking as beautiful as they always do.

    Great topic again Molly,


  8. Mollyon 25 Jul 2011 at 5:01 pm

    Hey James:

    You know I just love it when you stop by. You always crack ME up! You should have been there when my mom’s friend Susan caught her cheating b/f in the pantry with my aunt. At first, everyone was trying to look away and not make eye contact with anyone, but as soon as one person burst out laughing, it was all over. My mom’s friend was mortified, but she was glad to find out what kind of jerk the dude was before the wedding.

    Ha ha. That’s too funny about your friend’s ex’s face being top heavy w/makeup. Believe me, there are a lot of socialites in this town who should be falling on their faces, too. I love makeup, but I wear a bit of makeup with my face — not a little face with my makeup.

    You rock n’ roll, James. Always a treat when leave a comment.


  9. Christa Polkinhornon 25 Jul 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Molly, I know you have a wonderful and vivid imagination. Was that thing with the fake eyelash stuck on the guy’s forehead true or did you make it up? NO, YOU DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER.
    Great post, as usual.


  10. Sammy Suttonon 27 Jul 2011 at 9:05 am

    Fabulous post, many can identify with Molly’s dilemma. Very Clever!

  11. Leigh Annon 28 Jul 2011 at 5:48 pm

    Isn’t it funny how so many little girls love to play in make up, but as women age, it’s often a contest with ourselves to see how *little* makeup we can wear and not look like we are in a DUI mug shot?

  12. Marta Moran-Bishopon 01 Aug 2011 at 3:25 pm

    ROFL. Did have to ask my husband Ken about how men feel about fresh lipstick. “It made me afraid I would slide off.” No kidding, he really said that.

    I loved that movie “Butterflies are Free.” I remember the groping scene. It was hysterical and sweet.

    I have never been one to wear lipstick, except for a photo shoot, when I did the TV commercials or at my wedding and then I bought the kind that doesn’t come off.

    I have always hated the glass having this big lipstick mark on it.

    I agree Leigh Ann, I do tend to wear less makeup now. Less really is more.

    Another fab post g/f.

  13. Mollyon 01 Aug 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Ha ha, Marta. Thanks for asking your husband. That’s so funny, “it made me afraid I would slide off.” I’ve never wanted to ask the men I’ve kissed about that (except in this blog), so I really appreciate your being a research scout for me.

    Funny you should bring up the glass with the lipstick mark. Once I had to go to my aunt Pauline’s for a visit, and she served me a glass of iced tea with her freakin’ lipstick still on the glass from the last time she used it. When I showed it to her, she said, “Well I washed it, Molly. I guess the water wasn’t hot enough.” Needless to say, I didn’t drink it and haven’t had an iced tea since.

    Thanks for coming by, Marta. You always bring a big smile to my face.


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