Apr 17 2011


Published by at 10:48 pm under Lifestyle & Values

Greetings, Cool Peeps:

I like to tell it like it is. Of course, my truth might not be the next person’s truth, but I try to be true to myself and to humanity in general. Okay, you say. What is she freakin’ talking about?

Sorry, not trying to go philosophical on you. I’m just having one of those crazy overanalytical days. Today, I’m thinking about honesty. Is it a sin to tell a lie? Aren’t “white lies” a good thing in most cases?

Let me start with some simple stuff. Recently, I was on a shopping trip with one of my BFFs. We were in the department store when she asked me, “Molly, what do think about this dress?”

Take a look at it, peeps. What do you think of this dress? What do you think I think of this dress? There is a very good reason it was on the discount rack. While I have bought many cool items at a mega discount, this item in question would not be filed under “cool bargains.”

Since my friend was only considering the dress, I told her the truth. “Um, no. Not diggin’ it. Why don’t we keep looking for something a bit more fashion forward?”

Now, had we been at a party, had the dress been bought and hanging from her body, my answer to that question would have been different. I would not have claimed to adore it, but what would have been the point of being one hundred percent truthful in such a situation?

Little in life is black or white. I think we’re all enigmatic creatures with different rules for different occasions. Moi? Well, like most people, I do not like being lied to. Puh-leeze. Tell me the truth. Especially if you are a man and I am dating you. Moving right along.

Yes, there are occasions when I’ve actually gotten a bit tweaked when people have told me the truth. For example, one night I was meeting a gal pal for dinner at a local straunt. After forty-five minutes went by, she was a no-show. She wasn’t answering her phone. I was really freaking out about what might have happened to her. After being almost an hour late, she just strolled in and with a half-hearted apology, sat down and announced she needed a drink.

“I was so worried about you!” I told her. “You only live ten minutes from here. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you.”

“Oh, Molly,” shewhoshallnotbenamed said. “Jennifer called just as I was leaving home. She was so insistent that I hear all the dirt about her ex and his new paramour. You know Jen is a total motormouth. I couldn’t shut her up!”

Okay, peeps, here’s where yours truly has a little bitty teeny weenie HUGE freakin’ problem! Don’t leave someone waiting for an hour, worrying about you, just to find out that you were on the horn with Ms. Gabbermouth. Tell me that Ms. Gabbermouth was ready to jump off a cliff and you had to save her. Tell me something so I’m not totally pissed that you kept me waiting and didn’t think I mattered. But more than that, tell whoever it might be that you have got to go. Remind me to write an obituary on bad manners.
Am I ranting? I’ll try to calm myself down.

Lastly today, I want to give a brief mention to those situations where a white lie is kind, but yet being too kind can backfire on you. When my parents started dating, my mom took my dad home to meet her parents. Wanting to impress, my dad was not about to express his extreme dislike for the asparagus casserole with creamed mushroom soup and cornflakes that my grandma served on their first meeting. A firm believer in the white lie, my dad raved like freakin’ crazy about my grandma’s dish. He could have just politely eaten as little as possible, but no, he had to wax rhapsodic to the BS degree.

And if you haven’t already figured it out, that was the first of hundreds of goopy asparagus casseroles that my dad has been eating for thirty-five years.

This is only a blog, so I’m not going to dissertate, though the subject of truth and lies is one close to my heart. I’d love to hear your stories about lies, white lies, and everything else inbetween.

See you next week.

Yours in pickiness,


14 responses so far

14 Responses to “WHITE LIES AND HONESTY: Where and when?”

  1. Lisaon 18 Apr 2011 at 1:38 am

    Hehehehe- *Sneaky laugh* Would you believe I have a knack of being able to tell the truth – blunt as- followed by a laugh as if in jest, leaving the other party none-the-wiser. I do it ALL the time and love it and all is sweet 😀

    Actually – come to think of it . I did inflate a price of a pair of bargain-buy shoes for my hubby so he would like them more hehehe It worked for a short time until I had to confess !!!

    Great Blog Molly. Love it. No really…I DO….really hehehehe

  2. Mollyon 18 Apr 2011 at 12:05 pm

    Ha ha, Lisa. It’s really funny how much we equate quality with price. I always thought it would be a cool thing to mix up all of the prices in an upscale department store. What if we took the bargain stuff and made it more expensive and took the quality stuff and made it bargain. If I were shopping that day, I wouldn’t freakin’ care who considered what to be a bargain item, I’d grab everything that I liked. But it would be a fascinating experiment to see if the pricing changes significantly affected a person’s perception of an item.

    Thanks for stopping by. Love seeing you each and every time. YIP, Molly

  3. Martaon 18 Apr 2011 at 2:07 am

    Hi Molly I haven’t left a whole lot of comments yet. I get a little shy until I know someone better. But here goes.

    My favorite word in these situations is interesting. Just think about it. Your BFF asks you if you like her new dress and it is a horror, “well it is an interesting dress, the color looks real good on you.” I guess not really a white lie but in the same catagory.

    Mostly I am not real good at lying I feel so guilty and then I confess. Awful isn’t it? So instead I use interesting, how lame is that?

  4. Mollyon 18 Apr 2011 at 12:00 pm

    Hey there, Marta!

    Now, if I say that you brought up an “interesting” topic, I hope you will know that I mean that in the nicest way. Girlfriend, the word “interesting” is one of the most common euphemisms for “are you freakin’ kidding me?” there is! The only problem is that sometimes we mean the word in the nicest way and nobody believes us. It’s always something. Loved your comment. Hope you see you again soon. Yours in pickiness, Molly

  5. Stuart Ross McCallumon 18 Apr 2011 at 2:28 am

    There are times when a – little white lie – is appropriate. We have all done them. One (of many) that springs to mind, is when I bought a pair of zircon earrings for a new girl friend, and successfully passed them off as the real thing. It worked. We are now happily married. 🙂

    Fabulous post Molly, enjoyed your humour and perspective on life immensely.

  6. Mollyon 18 Apr 2011 at 11:56 am

    Hey Stuart:

    So happy that you stopped by again. Loved your story. I know of this extremely wealthy man in this town who thought everything his woman wore reflected on his status in life. His girlfriend at the time actually didn’t want diamond earrings because she was afraid of losing them. So, he bought her real diamonds and passed them off as zircons. Trippy, huh? I’m so glad your story had a happy ending. (The guy I mentioned — still looking! ha ha!) YIP, Molly

  7. Leigh Annon 18 Apr 2011 at 3:01 pm

    White lies/manners . . . hmmm . . . . yes, yes, a lot to be said for those long-gone days of politeness. (Well, that’s not entirely true, but it sure seems like people are a lot more rude now —- just check out all the animals during X-mas shopping season!) There’s a lot to be said for being empathetic, as are you, Molly, my friend, and just being a tactless boor. You were correct on your take on that godawful bedspread of a dress, but perhaps if your dad had been a little *less* polite, he could’ve dodged at least some of that asparagus over the years.

    But back to your original point, Mols. Manners. Geez. What a concept. Who knows — maybe they will become hip again someday.

  8. Mollyon 18 Apr 2011 at 3:46 pm

    Hey g/f:

    So glad that you stopped by. Ha ha! My dad is paying dearly for his rhapsodical praise of my grandmother’s casserole. He’s still a super nice guy, but he did learn from it. There are other dishes she makes that he has managed to avoid.

    Manners should always be in vogue, but sadly, they’re not. I’m so with you: maybe they will become hip again. 😉 YIP, Molly

  9. Carmina Sanchezon 19 Apr 2011 at 7:32 pm

    I think we all had said white lies plenty of times but I tried not to unless is really necessary. But I wouldn’t go that far as to lie and eat asparagus with cereal for such a long time, haha no way!

  10. Mollyon 19 Apr 2011 at 8:37 pm

    I’m so with you, Carmina. I would develop an “allergy” or something that wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings, but I could not suffer chowing down for years on something so wretched. ha ha! No freakin’ way! Great to see you again! YIP, Molly

  11. Sherion 20 Apr 2011 at 6:13 am

    What a great topic! I also believe everyone has told a ” little white lie” at least once in their life. I personally have told a few to spare someones feelings. I would have to say one of those times was when my daughter made cookies and they were a bit “crisp” . So to spare her when she asked how I liked them, I asked for more milk!

  12. Mollyon 20 Apr 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Hey Sheri:

    Great to see you, g/f. As I told Janet, I think peeps tell many more white lies than they’re counting. Is it wrong to tell a white lie if you’re sparing someone’s feelings? Or how about if you’re planning a surprise party for someone? You kinda have to do it, you know? Thanks for stopping by! YIP, Molly

  13. Janet Leeon 20 Apr 2011 at 12:37 pm

    White lies are definitely necessary at times… I actually need to work on that, because sometimes (a friendly hosts’ bad cooking, a classmate’s painfully presented tried-so-hard class presentation) is DEFINITELY NECESSARY. But I think I’m almost see-through and they could automatically tell I’m lying about the white lie… :-/ Is it my tone of voice or my facial expression or just me all together? Not sure..

    Love it Molly, Til next time,


  14. Mollyon 20 Apr 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Hey Janet:

    Thanks for your loyalty, girlfriend. I look forward to seeing you every week. I know what you mean; it’s a real dilemma. I’m a truth-telling girl, but the white lies do come forth. I think we all tell many more white lies than we even realize, but I’m too afraid to count mine. Have a great week! YIP, Molly

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