Apr 10 2011
CRAZY SIGNS OF LIFE
Greetings, cool peeps:
Most people don’t wake up thinking to themselves, “Today I’m going to think about signs.” Unless you’re a sign maker, an astrologer, or a person getting ready to test for your driver’s license, it’s doubtful you’d have that thought.
Signs are a huge part of our everyday lives, both the tangible and the intangible ones. Those of us looking for love don’t like to acknowledge the signs that our potential soul mate is not really into us, such as: forgetting our name, forgetting our date, and forgetting our existence. Those are the duh-you-moron-get-it-now signs, but there are more subtle signs, like those we pick up with a faraway glance, a change in voice inflection, or an apathetic response to a loving gesture.
There are, of course, astrological signs. I used to dig astrology until I graduated from high school and began meeting men in public haunts. “What’s your sign?” unless expressly relevant in a conversation, is a sign in itself that you need to run to the nearest EXIT, or better yet, point the asker in the direction of one. Anyone who uses that as an opening line has nothing to say and I promise, doesn’t know squat about astrology, anyway. After meeting my fill of whats-your-signers, my sign became STOP. Just stop.
I always love it when I’m traveling on the interstate and see this one.
Every time I see the SOFT SHOULDER sign, I expect to see some poor soul sitting along the side of the road with someone sobbing heavily onto his or her very wet shoulder.
And every time I see this sign, I have the same reaction.
Yeah, I slow down my car, but still I expect to see my last bad date standing on the road ahead.
Signs are everywhere. Sometimes it’s important to double up on them in case you don’t get the idea the first time around. Like right here. I’m wondering why there isn’t a third sign: “NO, WE REALLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO GO LEFT.”
Then there are signs that leave you scratching your head. Like this one I saw in a parking garage.
What do they mean by MONTHLY EXIT? I’m serious, peeps, who stays in a freakin’ parking garage for a month?
Here’s a masterpiece from the pharmacy.
Get a flu shot and get a chance to win a gift. I’m guessing that getting a flu shot one place is as good as another. But let’s get real: I’m not going to get mine in the pharmacy just to “get a chance to win a gift.” Whose brilliant brainchild was this? WTF do I “get a chance” to win? Do I care? Do flu shots and gifts even go together? I think not!
Here’s a charming sign.
BAIL BONDS. ANY JAIL. ANY TIME. Chances are that if you are really in need of this service, you’re probably not going to see this sign at the optimal time. But it’s good to know places like this exist. Any jail, any time. That certainly gives me comfort.
I love this charming sign.
Why is this sign in the middle of BFE? This important warning should be mass-produced and hung on every establishment where people meet one another. I’m guessing this sign isn’t about the same kinds of snakes and serpents I meet at happy hour. But that would be a totally rad idea!
And last, I’ll leave you with this sign, and a warning to read carefully. If you don’t, you might be very disappointed.
So tell me, cool peeps, what are your favorite signs?
See you next week.
Yours in pickiness,
Molly
Molly,
I share your thoughts on signs…especially the last one! ROFL
Sheri
Thanks, g/f. I love like-minded peeps. Yeah, that last one really caught my eye, especially when I misread it on first glance. Thanks for stopping by. YIP, Molly
Great Post, Molly is fabulous. I love her humor!
Sammy
Thank you, Sammy. I love your taste! Thanks for stopping by. Yours in pickiness, Molly
Molly,
Love your blog ( as always)… My favorite sign… I hope no one gets offended, I don’t mean anything by it, but I use to live in San Diego, right by the border of Mexico… and thought it was interesting seeing those signs where it’s a drawing of a guy (the father), holding hands with a women (mother), who’s holding hands with a child, who’s holding hands with his stuffed teddy bear… never saw anything like that before until I moved to SD, so I thought that’s interesting, ’till next week Molly!
xoxo
Janet, what an interesting story, g/f. You know, right by my office building here in Swansea, there is a sign that shows a drawing of me without my morning coffee. It says, “APPROACH WITH EXTREME CAUTION.” Obviously, I’m kidding, but I just gave myself a brilliant idea. Love the image of the child holding a teddy bear in the sign. Precious! Good to see you again. U rock! YIP, Molly
I love it, especially the last two signs are my favorites! I think we always must be aware of human Snakes & Scorpions!!! U go girl!!!
Nice to meet you, Carmina! Absolutely — human snakes and scorpions will wreak utter havoc in your life. I’ve met (and dated) far too many. I could write a book. (Oh, wait a minute, I think I did!)
Molly, I adore you, but you got me this time. I don’t know which way to go now.
Here I am thinking you can make a right on a no right turn signal. Lights, camera, action. The monthly exit had me too, of course Molly that would be a great way to save on money, just camp out a month or two. Molly, the way you think amazes me. Keep the good blogs coming.
Talatha Allen
Hey there, Talatha:
Thanks for stopping by, girlfriend. It’s funny how signs are meant to direct us or tell us something, but some of them just confuse us even more. I look at so many signs and think: “Is it ME?” What do you do when you get so confused your head spins? write a blog! Your in pickiness, Molly
I’m a scorpion 🙁
but I am on the cusp which I’m sure makes a HUGE difference 😀
Loving the blog Molly.
My Fav is ‘Any Jail, Any time’ – LOL reminds me of ‘Do you feel lucky punk- well do ya’.
great stuff !
Thanks, Lisa. It seems that everyone has a fave sign. I’m lovin’ those little handcuffs on the “Any Jail” sign. Not the kind of bracelets I want to wear, but charming all the same. YIP, Molly
Dear Molly —-
Did you say that the last photo was submitted by a former boyfriend? Thought so. 😉
From your pal in pickiness
Well, hey there, Leigh Ann. I took that photo myself. The reporter in me is always lookin’. YIP, Molly
Ah Molly,
To quote, Five Man Electical Band, way, way, way back to 1971….Oh, sign, sign everywhere a sign. Blocking up the scenery, breaking my mind ….Before your time Molly, you have to think, “Who are all these signs for?” Crazy, mixed up world we live in.
Thank you for another wonderful and highly entertaining piece.
Have a great week.
Hey Stuart:
That song is definitely before my time, but I adore the oldies and know it well. I used to call that the “long-haired freaky people song.” I was going to put the lyrics in this blog, but then I read that using lyrics without permission can land you in big trouble. I was afraid of ending up in the slammer. However, had I done so, after having photographed the “Any jail, any time” sign, I would have known how to get out. You’re awesome! Thanks for stopping by. YIP, Molly
Near our town, there is a sign posted which prohibits sign posting. And, of course there are signs posted on either side of it.
Just thought I would share a “sign” funny with you that I have a photo of – somewhere… maybe you have a copy, Molly?
Deb