Oct 09 2011


Published by at 7:57 pm under Lifestyle & Values

Greetings, Cool Peeps:

When I was a sophomore in high school, a classmate of mine enthusiastically called me on the phone one Friday night, “Hey, Molly, what are you doing this Saturday night?”

“Nothing,” I said, thinking I was about to be invited to a party or get-together.”

“Awesome,” she said. “Then will you babysit for me? I took this job with the Morgans, but I want to go to Trevor’s party.”

“Are you freakin’ kidding me?”

No, peeps, I didn’t take her babysitting job. I didn’t like the roundabout, manipulative way that she went about things. Had she had been forthright and asked me if I would do her a favor and take over her babysitting job, I probably would have said yes and made a few bucks in the process. But I hated being manipulated then, and I hate it now.

I don’t know anyone out there who doesn’t regret having been used in some way or the other. We’ve probably all had one too many situations when a person has taken advantage of our kindness. I appreciate the good people in my life, and I hope each and every one of them knows that. I try to say thank you often and go the extra mile to let people know just how special they are. It can take so little effort to make another person’s day by simply validating the things he or she does for you. A person doesn’t have to do you any special favors to make a big difference in your life. Special peeps make the world better by just being themselves.

There are some peeps I know who sadly are more at ease manipulating someone into a situation rather than just flat-out asking. I was at a party once when someone in my circle came up to me at three a.m. and said, “Molly, my car won’t start! Can you please give me a ride home?”

I felt terrible. I didn’t want her to be stranded in northern New Jersey at that hour. So, even though it was out of my way and very late, I agreed. As soon as we got on the turnpike, I asked her what she was going to do the next day to get her car home. Turns out that her car was home. It hadn’t started for three days and was sitting in her driveway. She got a ride to the party with someone who left hours before she was ready to go but thought she would ask me for a ride home at the end of the party, so I couldn’t possibly say no.

I was not cool with what she did, but because we had so many mutual friends, a year later, I invited her to a party at my home. No clue why she was sans vehicle that night, but again, she waited until the end of the night and this time announced, “Molly, I’m just gonna crash on your couch.”

“Uh, no,” I said. Cool peeps, you know the saying Fool me once…? Well, she had fooled me once. Not again. I didn’t like being manipulated and did not want her in my living room or hanging with my boyfriend and me the next morning. When I told her she couldn’t stay, she didn’t believe me at first. She kept pleading with me, but I didn’t budge. I could tell she wasn’t used to hearing no. She was masterful at painting people into a corner, but it wasn’t working with me. I hung tough, she called a cab, and I never saw her again.

I love doing favors for peeps, but I’ve had some outrageous things asked of me. Once, the bartender in a place I frequented explained to me that her telephone was cut off, and she needed to use my name/credit to open a new account. No freakin’ way. That same week, an acquaintance of mine called to ask me if I’d drive her and her out-of-town visitor into Manhattan. She didn’t even ask me to hang with them; she just wanted me to play free taxi. Another time, a brand-new coworker of mine asked me for a loan of $250 her first week on the job.

I’m a fair person. Anytime someone asks me something that I feel is outrageous, I always turn the situation around and ask myself: Would I ask that person the same favor? The response is always an overwhelming NO! I do that just to check myself to be sure I’m not being a hypocrite.

How about you, cool peeps? Do you have issues saying no to people? How do you deal with manipulative people who think they can get anyone to say yes? “Do you put them in their place? I would love to hear your stories.

See you next week,

Yours in pickiness,


7 responses so far

7 Responses to “I’M JUST A GIRL WHO CAN SAY NO”

  1. Stuart Ross McCallumon 09 Oct 2011 at 11:10 pm

    Hello Molly,

    A fabulous topic this week, one that I know those of us who are not living on Mars will identify with.

    Like you, most of the people I have connected with are amazing and have added to my life in marvellous, beneficial, and loving ways. Not to say that I haven’t been a victim of the manipulative type. These people often mistakenly perceive an act of kindness as a sign of weakness and strike.

    One incident occurred when an ex-mate told me about this really nice guy who had been laid off work. A mechanic by trade who was hoping to get some jobs to do from home. I walked straight into it. The company van was due to be serviced so I passed the job his way. Well, he serviced the van and said the brakes desperately needed to be done, and he has given me mate’s rates. To cut a long story short, the $570.00, he charged for doing the brakes was a total scam. I found out a few weeks later by a reputable service centre that the brakes had never been touched!

    Thank you Molly, for reminding me about the shifty mechanic of sorts.

    Stuart 🙂

  2. Lisaon 10 Oct 2011 at 1:14 am

    I cannot believe some people. Asking for a lift as if they had been stranded and then see her car in the drive. I do not believe that. I would be major annoyed at that and like you said, ‘Once bitten, twice shy’.

    I am happy to go out of my way for a friend in need. I will do it without hesitation and have done so many many times because it isn’t really going out of my way. It’s a friend, a chance to chat about things and show some interest in what they are doing. I have never been blatantly tricked like that, but then my circle of friends is very tight and special.

    I have had a couple of friends in the past try to ‘pull a fast one over me’ but I do have a keen eye for detail and body language and they are soon snagged. But that is all in good fun. 😀

    Thanks Molly for once again enhancing my world.
    Take Care
    Lisa 😉

  3. Sheri Wilkinsonon 10 Oct 2011 at 7:37 am

    I have to say I do not like manipulative people. I used to baby sit my (toddler) niece, only one day a week and it was not a problem. Well I had a sister in law who seemed to think I was a day care center, she would just drop off her daughter to “play” with my niece. Finally after weeks of her just “showing up” on my baby sitting day, I said to her “I am not a baby sitting service…” I then handed her a bill for the past few weeks. That ended my problem quickly!
    Great Topic Molly!

  4. James Morrisonon 11 Oct 2011 at 2:21 pm

    Hey Molly,

    Again long time no see. Sorry, work is keeping me very busy at the moment. I really hate manipulative people. A lot of the time I get guilted into doing things for people because I think I am a bit of a soft touch. Every week my friends and I meet at my local pub on a Thursday night just to catch up cos we are all usually kinda busy on weekends. This pub is about 4 minutes drive from my house. A few years ago one of my friends moved houses and was about 40 minutes drive away from the pub, and one week he asked me for a lift home, because “A taxi will cost me a fortune to get home”. I drove him home that night feeling bad for him, but then the next week, and a few weeks following, he asked me for a lift again. So I was sure to put him in his place and didn’t give him a lift home. I felt bad, but what he was saving in taxi money, I would have been losing in petrol money driving him home every week, not to mention the fact I was losing 1.5 hours sleep those nights 😛

    Great topic Molly!! Hopefully Ill be back more regularly again soon
    Stay picky 😀


  5. Leigh Annon 11 Oct 2011 at 5:27 pm

    Good lord, this one tops them all! The degenerate that said her car wouldn’t start should be working in international relations — her skills would fit in well there! I couldn’t believe what I was reading, had to go back and read again . .. the *audacity!*

  6. astrid ardition 07 Sep 2015 at 1:09 am

    Wish I could say no! I’m always the idiot getting manipulated into saying yes and regretting it later on. You’re right, at least when people are up front it’s your choice to help them out. Hate being taken for a fool! 🙂
    Great blog post!
    Have a lovely week,

  7. Mollyon 07 Sep 2015 at 2:43 am

    Hey, Astrid:

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Nobody likes being taken for a sucker! Like wearing clothes that are too tight (or too big!) Doesn’t feel good to “wear it.”

    If someone fools me once, they never get another chance. Life is too short.

    Thanks for taking the time to comment!



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