Aug 07 2011

GOOD DAYS, BAD DAZE

Published by at 9:26 pm under Out and About With Molly

Greetings, Cool Peeps:

Last Tuesday, I woke up in a bit of a rush. I had to meet a source for a feature I was doing in Princeton, New Jersey, and that meant that instead of my easy walk to work, I had to catch a train. But I’m a big girl. I could manage that. Or so I thought.

I woke up, fed Captain Jack, and hopped in the shower. No water! Not in the shower, not in the sink. Nowhere.

I ran from the bathroom to get my cell and call the manager of my apartment complex, when I saw a note being slipped under my door. I grabbed the note and read it:

Dear Residents:
This coming Tuesday morning, between 6:30 a.m. and 8:30 a.m., we will be turning off the water to complete some necessary maintenance. We apologize for any inconvenience this might cause.

“ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME?” I screamed, as I picked up the note at 6:55 a.m. on the day of said maintenance. “You’re telling me this NOW!”

I saw Jack looking at me. His eyes were wide, and his tail was puffed out. Believe me, peeps, he has seen me go crazy, but not like this. I barely move at 6:55 a.m., but that day I was running around naked, screaming. (Sorry, no illustrations on this one!)

With no time to spare, I ran to the kitchen sink and began dousing myself with bottles of spring water as I washed myself with dish liquid. Forget my hair — it was a frizzy mess.

Fast forward to 10:00 a.m. I was still feeling the effects of my horrific morning, but I arrived promptly at the office of the attorney I was interviewing in Princeton.

I knew it was all over when her secretary looked at me sheepishly and said, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Miss Hacker. Ms. Dillywacker (okay, not her real name) had to meet with a new client today. I think I forgot to call you.”

Are you freakin’ kidding me? I screamed silently. Tell me you are freakin’ kidding me!

“I just came here from New York,” I said, resisting the urge to scream. “I braved a drought and battled the rush-hour masses to get here. Can I wait for her?”

“Sorry, she’s in Philadelphia,” came the reply. “I’d offer to reschedule, but she’s leaving on a business trip tomorrow. She might be gone for weeks.”

Peeps, I was infreakincensed. I had bathed in room temperature spring water and dish soap. My hair was not squeaky clean. I was not feeling my best, and the person who was the primary source for my feature article, due in twenty-four hours, was unavailable to me. And I had come all the way to Princeton, New Jersey, to find that out.

At that moment, a delivery guy pushed open the office door with boxes piled so high in his arms he did not see me. The boxes toppled to the floor, and in an effort to avoid the avalanche, I fell to the ground. I wasn’t hurt, but my left Jimmy Choo was decapitated from the heel. I stood looking at it as if my best friend had died.

Perfect time for a call from my boss, you think? When I told him that my New Jersey source was unavailable, he told me he had found an even better source in Connecticut. And he wanted me to go see the guy immediately.

The lawyer’s assistant, who had caused this debacle, offered me some Krazy Glue. Yes, peeps, I had to glue my Choo and make my way on the train to Connecticut.

As I sat there on the train, I looked in front of me. There wasn’t a man in the seat before me. There was an alien. A freakin’ alien. And we were going to Mars.

All that happened before noon, and it only got worse. Please, make me feel better. Tell me some of your “bad daze” stories. Misery loves company.

See you next week.

Yours in pickiness,

Molly

21 responses so far

21 Responses to “GOOD DAYS, BAD DAZE”

  1. Olivia Wilderon 07 Aug 2011 at 9:59 pm

    I had gone to pick up my then-boyfriend at the airport, arriving early, with plenty of time, and way too much water and coffee imbibed that day, I went to the rest room. After I took my time reapplying my lipgloss, brushing my hair, etc., I too a leisurely stroll down the concourse, stopping to look in several shops, smiling back at several people who seemed inordinately friendly that day, and eventually winding up at the other end of the long building at Starbucks, opting to get a coffee. I waited in a line of about 7 people for my turn. When I went to hand the cash over, I dropped a $5 bill and turned to pick it up, noticing a strip of what appeared to be toilet tissue on the floor behind me.

    To my utter horror, it turned out the toilet tissue was a 10 foot “train” with a big wet ball on the end, the other end of which was tucked down into my jeans.

    Two tables of people laughed as I reeled it in like a big ugly catfish.

    I then understood the many extra smiles I got during my casual stroll in and out of shops and down the concourse.

    Bastards. No one said a word. 🙂

  2. Mollyon 07 Aug 2011 at 10:12 pm

    OMG, Olivia! That is some story, g/f. You were truly a TP bride! I know many peeps who have left the ladies room with an “attachment,” but your story takes the bridal cake. Thanks for posting this. Helps me to remember to be extra careful. You’re awesome to share with us! Thanks so much.

    Yours in pickiness,

    Molly

  3. James Morrisonon 07 Aug 2011 at 10:14 pm

    Hey Molly,

    I had one of those days a few years ago while still at Uni. The day started like any other uni day. I would wake up and after getting ready would make my way to the train station. Once there I realised that I had forgotten my headphones which annoyed me a little, especially considering I had an hour train ride ahead of to get to uni. So I got on the train and received a phone call from my girlfriend at the time. She was reminding me not to forget her assignment I had to hand in for here while she was at the snow with her family.

    So I get to uni and go to the teacher to hand in her assignment only to realise that I had left it at home. So after a throwing out a few curse words, I organised a lift home to my house after my 1 class at uni that day. So I get out of class, get a lift home, grab the assignment, jump in my car, and start my second 1 hour trip back to uni again.

    Half way there, I was discussing with my friend who came with me, how much of a shit day I had had. His response to my complaining was “It could be worse…… your engine could blow up.” OK, now this is absolutely serious, about 3 seconds later, my engine blew up. I end up having to pull my car over to the side of the road. I could not get it to start again, and it was dead.

    So there I was, broken down, half way to uni, with my gf’s assignment which i had forgotten, 1 bar of battery left on my cell phone, trying to ring the road side assistance and also ring my sister to get her to come and pick up my mate and the assignment and get it handed in.

    So my sister comes past and picks up my mate, and while I was waiting for road side assistance, I managed to lock the keys in the car, and then it started raining.

    WORST DAY EVER!!!

    In the end, the assignment got handed in on time, I had to replace the engine in my car which cost me a fortune, and I have made sure ever since that day that I have everything I need before leaving the house.

    Hope that makes u feel better 😀
    Awesome blog again Molly, you kick ass!

    James

  4. Mollyon 07 Aug 2011 at 10:26 pm

    James:

    You are totally “the man,” dude! When I was writing this, I said to myself, “If anyone will have a freakin’ bad day to tell me about, it will be James.” OMG! I can’t believe your engine blew right after your friend said that. When I was in high school, I said to a guy, “Oh, now I know where your locker is; I’ll have to steal all your books.” Later that afternoon, someone did steal all of his books. And it wasn’t me. Saying stuff like that makes me really paranoid it will happen.

    Well, I guess the good news is that you weren’t in a position to be hurt when your engine blew.

    Thanks for sharing! You rock!

    YIP,
    Molly

  5. Janeton 07 Aug 2011 at 10:49 pm

    Bad things come in threes or so I’ve heard… but in your case, 4.. 5? That must mean you’ve had your quota for the year; no more bad things for you! yay! 🙂

    Love the alien picture! hehe

    Speaking of shampooing without shampoo… I had that happen to me just today! so I thought I’d wash my hair with bodywash… nope. Didn’t work. Instead my hair was greasy all day and my scalp itched, No bueno.

    Til next time Molly,
    XO

  6. Mollyon 07 Aug 2011 at 11:39 pm

    Hey Janet:

    Thanks for stopping by, g/f. I’m thinking your bodywash felt as good as my dish soap. There’s a reason we buy shampoo; it’s made for HAIR. I remember the time I was late for work. I grabbed my mousse, worked it into my hair, and screamed loud enough for all of Swansea to hear when I realized I’d put toothpaste in my hair. Yep! Paste in my haste!

    A girl can get through the day with bodywash or dish soap. But toothpaste — no freakin’ way. I had to start all over again and make up a wildly ridiculous story about why I was late for work. I made my deadline, though. That’s all that mattered in the end.

    Hope you’re right about my bad luck being over! So glad you liked the alien on the train. Yup, he was right in front of me.

    YIP,
    Molly

  7. Leigh Annon 08 Aug 2011 at 5:52 am

    Oh, lord . . . I’d love to share a tale as well, but honestly, I don’t know where to begin.

    The most recent one involves my 2-y-o baby. We were in line at the Major Mondo Book Store paying for our purchases. In the line in front of us were a couple of middle-aged men. Handsome enough, but had kind of a sleazy element going on with them. In the words of the Supreme Court, hard to define why I thought this, but you know it when you see it . . . . .

    I was pushing Baby Boy in the stroller when I walked up to the cashier to pay for my stuff. To my horror, BB decides at that moment to get up out of the stroller and grab my neck. Only he missed. And grabbed the front of my V-neck shirt, pulling it down, bra and all, to my waist.

    And of course, the men in front of me got the full show. . . . . .

    oy . . . .. .

  8. Mollyon 08 Aug 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Hey Leigh Ann:

    O.M.G., g/f! I would freakin’ die. Just one more thing for me to worry about when I have kids. Ha ha. Between your son accidentally exposing you and Olivia walking through the airport with a train of toilet paper, I’d be hard pressed to judge a winner in an embarrassing moments contest. Thanks for sharing that one!

    You rock!

    YIP,
    Molly

  9. Sheri Wilkinsonon 08 Aug 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Molly,
    Wow these stories seem so horrendous compared to mine. I do have a few “horror” stories that I dare not post publicly, but this is a “G” rated embarrassment. My (then) two year old and I were playing, she was giggling and kicking around, when next thing you know….she kicks me in the face chipping my front tooth. I immediately made a dental appointment.

    Well if any of you ever had to have a shot of Novocaine for a front tooth you know it brings tears to your eyes , LITERALLY. Well I had several shots, had the tooth capped and walked out of his office. I could not understand all the stares, whispers and giggles on my way out. When I got to my car I checked my mirror, my mascara had ran all down my face making me look like a rabid raccoon! My advice to all women…make sure your mascara is waterproof before dental visits!
    Great topic …..
    Sheri

  10. Mollyon 08 Aug 2011 at 1:35 pm

    Hey Sheri:

    Great to hear from you. What a funny story about the mascara! If you remember my aunt Pauline from my KISS & MAKEUP blog, well, all I can say is that she’s been known to show her mascara-streaked face in public more times than I can count. And not for innocent reasons like having had Novocaine! Let your mind go wild. ha ha!

    I’m always smiling when you come by.

    YIP,
    Molly

  11. Shykia Bellon 08 Aug 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Molly,

    I empathize. I’ve had my share of really bad days. I remember one day I was on the verge of running late for work since my alarm clock went dead. After dashing down the subway steps, I narrowly slipped through the door of the closing train. I was semi-euphoric, thinking I just might make it to work in time. Then I noticed I was the only one in the empty car of the packed train, except for a sleeping homeless man at the other end. That’s when I realized the car was completely occupied by a force unseen—a horrific stench. As I tried to control my gag reflex, I bolted in an attempt to travel from one car to the next, but both doors were locked. Damn it! Even worse, the passengers in the adjacent cars were really laughing it up at my expense as I nearly slipped in the vomit of what I presumed to be that of the cars’ former victims. Burying my face in my shirt, I figured I’d make my escape at the next stop, then lamented the fact I was on the express train and had to endure the stench while bypassing 2 stations. Finally, salvation came as the doors opened and I nearly set the ground ablaze as I ran to the next car. I could now hear the laughter that had been silent moments earlier. Once I reached my destination, I darted off to work. In my haste, I walked face-first into the heavy glass door, prompting yet more laughter from onlookers.

    “You’re late.” My supervisor frowned as I entered.

    “Yeah, but my humiliation’s right on time,” I thought.

    -Shykia

  12. Mollyon 08 Aug 2011 at 1:47 pm

    Hey Shykia:

    What a story! What a terrible story! You poor thing. I’ve ridden the New York subway many a time, but living in Swansea, I walk to work on an average day. As much as I love New York (madly, wildly, passionately), I imagine that sort of thing happening to me every day if I had to depend on the subways to get to work. Oh, you poor thing. That “express” ride must’ve seemed like an eternity.

    Thank you for sharing such a horrible morning. And to all of those people who laughed at you, karma’s a bitch.

    Yours in pickiness,
    Molly

  13. Shykia Bellon 08 Aug 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Sheri,

    I’ve also had that happen to me after a dental visit. Didn’t realize why people were staring until I got home. So embarrassing! You’d think the dentist and/or the assistants would give a heads up on things like that, but no, they let us walk out looking like maniacs.

  14. Patricia Lupearon 08 Aug 2011 at 6:48 pm

    At one time I did magic shows and the best part of all was that I did it with a trained parrot named “Buster”. Parrots bond to you like no other critter and when that bond is formed it is an amazing circle of trust. We made the very old and the very young laugh and clap and Buster was up for a show anytime, anywhere.

    One evening he began to spasm and in writhe in pain and I did not know what had happened ;and of course was crying with everything inside me. It was over in about ten minutes and I was numb.

    The next day after consulting with the vet and dropping off poor Buster at that door so that the vet could give me some reason why…I needed to turn in a large design final for my multimedia class and of course cried all the way there and back.
    My husband called me on my cell phone and said our other parrot was in distress. I had him leave the house with the parrot and he rushed that bird to the vet.

    PG&E was called and it was as I suspected, a carbon monoxide leak. Buster as a small bird was the most susceptible, much like the canaries used in mines.

    We all have a purpose in life and I hope some as well when we pass from this life. Buster saved all of our lives and I believe there is no higher calling than to sacrifice yourself for those you love most. I take my comfort from that, but I still miss him.

  15. Mollyon 08 Aug 2011 at 7:33 pm

    Hello Patricia:

    So nice to see you again. What a sad but beautiful story about Buster. So lucky that he saved your lives, but how amazing that he saved your life. If it is in your belief system, I hope you see your precious Buster again. Thanks for sharing.

    Molly

  16. Stuart Ross McCallumon 08 Aug 2011 at 7:44 pm

    Hello Molly,

    Wow! You have hit on another stellar topic to discuss this week. Your head must be brimming over with ideas to tempt your ever-growing audience of devoted, Molly’s fans.

    I too have had many a bad day, and to pick just one to share is difficult, but here I go. A few years ago when I operated my stained glass business, I (foolishly) decided to surprise a client. As I knew her well and knowing she was eager to have her new bathroom window installed, I sent one of my co-workers, Andrew, out to do the job while she was at work.

    Andrew removed the old window without any problems. However, for some reason, only known to him, he decided to venture inside the house which immediately activated their state-of-the-art security system. Now, with sirens blaring, he soon found himself locked inside the house. I receive a phone call from a very shaken man explaining his unfortunate predicament. As he is a nervous type of guy at the best of times, my initial reaction was uncontrollable laughter. I soon composed myself and headed off to the house.

    By the time I arrived there were two police cars already out the front. As I began explaining to one of the officers what had just happened, I notice my client heading towards me beaming. Strangely, she thought I may be involved in this fiasco. Thankfully, she was incredibly understanding, and happy for Andrew to be released from the house to continue with the installation of her new stained-glass window. 🙂

    Thank you, Molly.

    Stuart

    PS. The police were not quite as understanding. 🙂

  17. Mollyon 08 Aug 2011 at 8:43 pm

    Hey Stuart:

    Ha ha! After reading your entire comment, I’m thinking that this was actually a good day for you, but maybe not for poor Andrew. Funny story. When I started reading it, my mind was going in a gazillion different places jumping ahead to what might have happened. I’m glad you were able to get a handle on the uncontrollable laughter; that is not easy to do in certain situations, but certainly advisable. Yeah, I’ll just bet the police weren’t thrilled. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing; loved this!

    YIP,
    Molly

  18. Setraon 09 Aug 2011 at 1:38 am

    Hi Molly,

    I love your blog! And am happy to add one of my most horrific and embarrassing moments to the list.

    I’ve always been thin (or slender to put it more nicely) and my older sister was always voluptuous. One summer she suggested we go to the beach. I didn’t want to go with her because the guys were always ogling her and ignoring me. She insisted and I reluctantly agreed to go. However, I decided that I wasn’t going to be Little Miss Flat-chested that time, so I took one of my mother’s padded bras and cut the padding out, putting it into my modest one piece bathing suit.

    Satisfied with my examination in the mirror, I headed to the beach with my sister. When we got there, she wanted to take her usual stroll along the boardwalk. As we walked along, I noticed that nobody was looking at her, but all eyes were on me instead. Quite pleased with myself, I strolled even more confidently along, happy to finally be getting the attention instead of my sister.

    When we’d walked the entire length of the boardwalk, we stopped and sat down to rest for a bit before heading back to the other end. I happened to glance down and realized with horror that one of the pads had slipped down and was resting on my stomach, instead of up where it was supposed to be! No wonder everyone was looking at me! I must have looked like a poor freak of nature! And my sister never let me live that down!

    Best to you,
    Setra

  19. Mollyon 09 Aug 2011 at 1:26 pm

    Hey Setra:

    Nice to meet you! Thanks so much for sharing that great story! After reading about your fallen pad on the beach, Olivia’s trail of toilet paper through the airport, and Sheri’s mascara-streaked face, I am now officially paranoid. Ha ha. And the next time I see men looking at me, instead of feeling pleased, I just might be wondering what is hanging out, falling out, or not looking as it should. I will be checking myself even more carefully than I ever have. But really, what a freakin’ great story — and I do appreciate you’re sharing it with us.

    Yours in pickiness,

    Molly

  20. Lisaon 09 Aug 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Hi Molly,

    The other day I found myself venting to a friend about a council proposal to name a lane way next to our house. This is so that the new residential developments taking place nearby can use this lane way as access to five extra dwellings. This would mean ten extra cars driving past our house. I can’t really explain nor would your readers be interested in the novella I could write objecting to this matter. But . . . it has upset me BIG TIME because it is wrong on SO MANY levels. Anyway….

    Half an hour after talking to my girlfriend about the said issue above, I received a phone call. It was from my debt collector John, who had been chasing moneys owed to me for work I had done for an architect. I was very close to this architect. I had worked for him as a contractor for almost two years, and we had a great rapport between us, (so I thought). Then suddenly he didn’t contact me anymore. I couldn’t make contact with him, and he refused to pay my account for no reason at all. To say I was hurt by this would be an understatement.

    Well…little did I know, John had decided to pursue the matter. It must have bugged him. After more attempts to contact him, he finally was able to serve him a summons to court. Well, this idiot thought himself too BIG to attend court and so a warrant went out for his arrest. (This is when my day turns out to be FANTASTIC). He gets arrested! Karma baby! His wife has to go and bail him out! HA! You are feeling my joy aren’t you Molly 😀 What a DH!
    A satisfactory outcome indeed. I got my money and also the pleasure of knowing he got arrested 😀
    Great joy 😀

    Thanks Molly. Another supreme blog. Love it xx

  21. Mollyon 09 Aug 2011 at 7:57 pm

    Hey Lisa:

    What a FANTASTIC story, g/f. Just reading about that guy getting tossed into the local slammer made me smile. I really hate peeps who take advantage of others and don’t pay for work that is done. It’s out and out stealing. So glad he was knocked down a peg or two. And getting your money to boot — wow, that would have turned my day around, too! Thanks for sharing!

    YIP,
    Molly

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