May 15 2011
OBITUARY FOR THE BLIND DATE
Greetings, Cool Peeps:
As many of my regular readers know, in addition to my job as features reporter, I write obituaries for the Swansea Herald. Writing obituaries is a very sad thing to do. I have always believed that one of our greatest common fears, as human beings, is losing those we love and having to go on without them. There’s no joy in hearing sad news or having to write about it, but it is satisfying to pay tribute to those who have departed.
Writing obituaries is also preferable to being the paper’s society reporter and having to write about other people’s weddings.
In this week’s blog, however, I take great pleasure in the obituary I am about to write – the obituary of the blind date.
The blind date has died. It succumbed to a slow death from natural causes that were years in the making. The blind date is survived by its brother, Online Dating, who appears to be thriving.
The blind date was at the height of its popularity before I ever knew what a detestable thing it was, back in the prehistoric, pre-personal-computer age. Usually, one person, who knew two parties who didn’t know each other, decided that said parties should meet. Quite often, the person/matchmaker/she-devil who set up these often ghastly (but yes, sometimes successful) hook-ups, would be brimming with confidence about the potential for lifelong happiness between the two not-so-certain parties.
Let me put it this way: just because I like a certain type of music and said man likes it, too, that does NOT mean we are compatible. Money does not make me fall for a man, nor does the matchmaker’s perception of his good looks. But, nobody ever wants to hear the “loads of personality” line. You just know that anyone described as having “loads of personality” is never going to be a match.
Blind dates were just that: blind. Often, you would simply double date with the matchmaker and meet the unknown person in the presence of others. As if such a meeting weren’t awkward enough, both parties would have to contend with such nonsense such as: “Biff, did you know Buffy wants to learn to ski?” “Buffy, Biff is an excellent skier.” (*hint hint*) Did you know you both have really stupid names?
The blind date was born in an era where photos could not be emailed. If anything, you had no more to go on than the voice on the other end of the phone. You were often coerced into these dates, or at best, accepted an offer for one out of desperation. Ugh, what a ghastly notion.
Physical chemistry is huge. Not everyone wants the standard calendar pin-up person, but we want our version of him or her. ABC’s now-defunct summer series, “Dating in The Dark,” was very much based on this premise. Three men and three women met in the dark, dated, then chose who they wanted to see “revealed.” It was quite interesting to see how each contestant’s interest waned or increased once seeing their love interest in the light.
The blind date will be remembered by all of the people who pore over the profiles of others online, exchanging emails, hoping that there will be enough of a connection to make their own date. While the traditional blind date is dead, the shock and horror of meeting a person who is nothing like you expected is very much alive. “Your profile photo was taken when? 1996? Oh, I see.” “Well, we all gain sixty pounds over time.” “Oh, so that wasn’t your photo? Whatever made you think I wouldn’t like the real you?” “Oh, so you need a green card to stay in the country?” “How long have you been into taxidermy?” “No, to the contrary, I loved hearing about your ex.”
There will be no services for the blind date because too many reasonable facsimiles of it still exist.
Tell me, cool peeps, what do you think of blind and online dating?
See you next week.
Yours in pickiness,
Molly
Molly Hacker Is Too Picky! – A romantic comedy – Now on sale .99 on Kindle, BN, and all major ebook venues.
Hi Molly,
Well, now this is an obituary with a twist, as only you could pull off— the demise of the dreaded blind date.
Today’s technology has made it even harder for the potential suitor. Photo shop has pretty much guaranteed that the only way of really knowing what he/she looks like is to accept the invitation—which could be extremely disastrous.
It is risky for sure, similar to purchasing a new coat which (looks) great in the cheap catalogue. The picture doesn’t bare any resemblance what-so-ever to what you receive in the post 10 days’ later!
Thanks Molly,
Stuart 🙂
Ha ha ha, Stuart. You are spot with your insights and analogy. Don’t even get me started on Photoshopping. OMG! I mean, if the ultimate purpose is to meet in person, unless you can have someone Photoshop your freakin’ face permanently (wouldn’t that be a best seller!), show who you are. Better to have someone think you look better than they expected, not worse.
Thanks for your two cents. They’re worth a million bucks to me.
YIP,
Molly
Hahahahaha Not only did I have a HUGE smile on my face reading this one, but then the comments just topped me over the edge! Marta, microwaves on the doorstep: LOL, Just priceless.
Can’t really add anything more as I married my love at first sight guy and skipped all that dating bizo:) Lucky I guess.
Thanks Molly A1
Great post!
Very funny. I’m reposting. You already know how I feel about on-line dating!
Rob
Marta,
OMG, g/f. You have really had your fill. Blind dates were supposed to exist to bring people happiness, but they are one of the greatest torture methods known to womankind. And mankind, too.
Microwaves on your doorstep! Are you freakin’ kidding me? How many microwaves can one person leave? Didn’t the guy ever think of flowers, not that it would have mattered.
As I said in an earlier blog, every pot has a lid, but so many of us are lucky if even one freakin’ date pans out.
Marta, you rock. Thanks for visiting me again this week. I loved your stories.
Lisa, you aren’t kidding. Marta’s story is too freakin’ hilarious.
YIP,
Molly
Molly,
I am laughing my head off, Literally. I have to admit, I went on one blind date my entire life and I married him! What are the odds of that. But I think I am one of the rare ones. As for online dating..well seeing how I am happily married and have been for 12 years, it is not an option. Also the concept of meeting online is a bit frightening. Stuart, your right (photo shop made me look like Grace Kelley today), Lisa you are so lucky, I can’t tell you how many toads I kissed to get to my Prince..and Marta, OMG! I am still laughing!
I truly enjoyed this topic..!!! Molly, Molly , MOLLY.. what will you think of next!
Sheri
Sheri:
Hey g/f:
You married a blind date? Wow. Play the lottery; you might get lucky again.
YIP,
Molly
Dear Molly,
You are somewhat mistaken. Online dating is not the au courant brother of the Blind Date. It IS the blind date, just reworked for the digital age.
Consider this: You email each other, based on one contacting the other via the go-between, in this case, the “Dating Site.” If one has a modicum of interest, i.e., the guy can conjugate a sentence, spell, and at least shows on the record that he is gainfully employed, or/and if one is desperate enough, they talk on the phone. If they accept each other’s banter, they will meet for a “date,” but it is never called a “date.” (Easier out that way.) He will suggest meeting for coffee (cheap) or a cocktail (lush). You have never REALLY seen each other, therefore it is, in fact, a “blind date.”
And in 9 cases out of 10 (and I’m being generous here), you wish you WERE blind upon meeting said person.
But then I am in the midst of a book that touches greatly on the subject of internet dating; in fact, my first radio shows were called “Olivia’s Love Line,” because I am the Queen of Internet Dating.
However, I have now relinquished my throne. I no longer wish to add material to my book. It already rivals War and Peace in length…..
Yours in Happily Singledom,
Olivia W.
Hello Olivia:
Nice to meet you!
While I have never tried the online dating bit, it is very true that seeing if a potential mate can express himself with some modicum of eloquence is a big plus. Yes, I would agree even with photos it is technically still a “blind date,” but the age of technology gives us the ability at least have a sneak preview. However I mentioned, those “sneak previews” aren’t always accurate. It is really such a complicated subject. I also wanted to mention arranged marriages, but I might never shut up but I decided to muzzle myself on that topic. I can’t even say the words “arranged marriage” out loud. I’d rather be freakin’ single forever than chance that. Thanks for stopping by! Yours in pickiness (YIP), Molly
I have met many people who are happy for a lifetime who married through arranged marriages. Guess it depends on the culture.
Internet dating Olivia I will have to read your book if it is anything like the blind dates I went on then it is a winner. Personally I am with Molly on this it sounds scary to me.
Blind dating produced enough stalker types to make me forever give it up. Thank god I found my one and only mate.
Love your blog Molly
Lyn
OMG— Molly, I wish there was an Internet access when I went out on my blind date, that way I could have seen just what I was getting myself into. The man fell madly in love with me, Molly, in two hours. Then, he tried to stalk me through my friends. The man was only three feet tall, just about to my waist. I felt blind just for not being able to see him right in front of me. And God forbid, if I had to ask a question, that would have meant instant whiplash in the back just to lean over to ask the question. I was so glad that evening was over with. I could never date anyone I can’t see. It’s mandatory.
Great Blog, Molly
Talatha
OMG, Talatha! That is hilarious, g/f. What a story. That’s interesting that you mentioned the guy “falling in love” with you in two hours. I had a similar situation once. I told the guy, “If you can fall in love with me in a few hours, you can fall out of love and right into love with someone else. Have a nice life, dude! That is just NOT flattering!
You’re right on: seeing what you’re getting yourself into is mandatory.
Yours in pickiness,
Molly
Honestly I don’t like blind dates at all!!!
Hi, Molly! I’ve met some nice guys through both blind and internet dating, but haven’t found Mr. Good-Enough-to-Leave-My-Single-Life yet. My friends tell me that they know a lot of great women but don’t set up blind dates because the men they know aren’t so great. 🙁
Hi, Jen!
Thanks for stopping by! Glad you’re one that refuses to settle for Mr. Wrong! I’ve had some so-called friends set me up in my younger years. Gee, i wonder where those friends are today. 🙂
Yours in pickiness,
Molly