Apr 03 2011
THE SKINNY ON EATING
Greetings, Cool Peeps:
So, tell me, do you think about food a lot? What to eat, what not to eat, what you want to eat, when you’re going to eat, what other people are eating?
Last night, I was out with friends at a local restaurant. As has happened on previous occasions, it was time to order dessert and I declined.
“Oh, Molly,” shewhoshallnotbenamed said. “You are so slender. What do you have to worry about?”
“Well, if I ate this carrot cake, I’d have 1575 calories and 84 grams of fat to worry about. That’s over six hours of walking just to burn off the calories. It takes me fifteen minutes twice a day to walk from my apartment to my job. According to my approximate calculations, it would take over two weeks of freakin’ perambulation just to get back to square one. So, please excuse me if I pass!”
I enjoy food as much as most people do, but, yeah, I watch what I eat. And I watch what I don’t eat. I watch people chowing down on all kinds of things on my verboten list. I eat vicariously if need be.
There are always occasions when I do treat myself. But I factor those treats in. Math wizard I’m not. I probably would have gotten better grades in high school math class if they had taught us how to count calories.
It is important to indulge from time to time. Never being allowed to have something makes us crave it all the more. But one thing I have learned is that while our job gives us vacation days, our body does not.
I have never known my body to say, “Hey, Molly, today’s your birthday, girlfriend. Enjoy that slab of barbecued ribs, that creamy coleslaw, and those humongoid steak fries. Have a piece of cake for a week until it’s all gone. They’re ‘birthday calories’ so they won’t count. Not only does your body not recognize your birthday, but it also does not recognize your friends’ and family’s birthdays, the holidays, your job promotion, or any other “special occasion.” You don’t get a pass. You just have to be cognizant of what you’re consuming and how you’re working it off. And that isn’t always easy.
Magic doesn’t work where food is concerned. Let me ask you, cool peeps: have you ever been hungry, gone to your fridge to find almost nothing, then returned to it numerous times in hopes that it would magically fill up with the desired sustenance? Guilty! Have you ever finished a bottle of wine and then turned it upside down in hopes that another glass worth would come pouring out? Guilty!
I love to eat. On most days, I brown bag it to work so I can eat what is good for me and be kind to my figure. Because my lifestyle has me going to local straunts a lot, I’ve had to become super calorie savvy. Seriously, have you ever Googled the calorie counts from your fave straunt or food? They’re eye-popping!
An order of chimichangas at your favorite Mexican eatery is in the neighborhood of 3,536 calories. Holy guacamole, Batman!
And last but not least, most of us who do count calories have had that precious moment when we say, “Ah, 400 calories, that’s not so bad.” Then, after we snarf down whatever it is, our eye catches one last bit of information: 10 servings! Egad!
Bon appétit!
See you next week.
Yours in pickiness,
Molly
Are you freakin’ kidding me, Molly? It’s almost 1:30 in the morning and that picture of Mexican food is making me hungry. If I had a burrito right now, I would be eating it, 3,000 calories or not! Maybe I can just look in my fridge a few times to see if one appears…
OMG, Tamara! Your post brings me to an important commandment: Thou shalt not stock fattening stuff in one’s cabinets, fridge, or freezer. That calorie count is supposed to make you run, not walk, as far away as you can. Glad you didn’t have any burritos in residence. YIP, Molly
Ahhh Pizza tonight girls and oh…is that the time, 8.30pm. mmmmm I can smell it now. Come on take a deep breath mmmmmm. Sorry but lettuce leaves just don’t have the same mmmmm experience.
O Oh I think I may get a blasting from Molly :-/ I was only kidding Molly. Me… Pizza …YUCK YUCK YUCK. Not me no no… grilled fish and salad without dressing tonight mmmmm yummmmmmmmm
Brilliant blog Molly !!! Love it xx
Hey Lisa:
Enjoy the pizza fantasy, g/f. And indulge in the fish and salad reality. What’s that they say at WW? “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels?” I tell myself that all the time. So far, it’s working! YIP, Molly
Dang, you know how to make a gal feel GUILTY. Thank you, MOLLY!
Hey Betsy:
I hear your girlish figure thanking me, g/f. xo. Yours in pickiness, Molly!
So Molly, would it be safe to say that you have a good handle on “emotional eating” and this “comfort food” thing? Care to offer any advice for how to combat it? When I’m stressed, I sure do get damn hungry all the sudden! Especially when Aunt Flo is on her way!
Hey Leigh Ann: I can’t always get a grip on life, but most of the time I have a handle on chowing down. I’ve set boundaries not only for healthful eating, but also for occasionally indulging. If I get stressed, which is all the freakin’ time, I talk with a BFF, chill to some music, or watch a movie with Jack. So g/f, my advice to you is this: train your brain to chillax in a way that doesn’t pack on the pounds. A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips. And really, who wants that? YIP, Molly
Hey Molly, guess what? Since last time I posted I’ve eaten two burritos… You’ve created a monster! I thought this week’s blog was supposed to help me CURB my appetite. Next time don’t show such yum-inspiring photos, ok?!? LOL
Are you freakin’ kidding me? Girlfriend, are you telling me that you seriously looked at those calories counts and let a picture of food drag you over to the dark side? What am I I talking about? Photos of pizza have done me in, too, but I always go on a “slender bender” afterward. Thanks for sharing, g/f. YIP, Molly
Guilty Guilty Guilty! I am Guilty of ALL the above! upside down glass, hoping another glass of wine would magically appear, going back and forth from the bedroom to the kitchen to check if there’s magically food (which if I didn’t live in NYC and if my kitchen was far far away from my bedroom, that would be extra calories burned just from pacing back and forth, good idea! put kitchen far from bedroom if I ever have a chance). Counting calories? Oh c’mon! I have an app on my phone that does that, it’s horrible haha… glad I’m not alone here Molly
Thanks for understanding 🙂
Janet, why am I not surprised? Girlfriend, we’re all human beings and that makes us all wacky to varying degrees. I cannot function without proper caffeination, and I cannot tell you how many times I have had a staring contest with my coffee cup, hoping for a magic refill. But I’m convinced that if we keeping trying, our crazy efforts to make sustenance and libation appear might just work. YIP, Molly
I’m with you on the caffeine, Molly. I say, down with calorie counting at home. It takes too much time, and there’s too much room for rationalization. “Oh, a frozen blueberry takes more calories to digest than it adds, so that means I can have another packet of sugar in my coffee.” I’m telling you, no good.
But at restaurants!!!! OMG, yes, we must check. I swear, some of those restaurants are trying to kill people. Even the salads are bad. Many are over 1,000 calories, easy.
Thanks for another informative article, Molly. 🙂
Hey Jen:
At a recent straunt thatshallnotbenamed, I was horrified to find that the salad I’d been ordering (to keep myself from chowing down on pizza) had more calories than the thin-crust pizza. Girlfriend, let me tell you. This was not a salad smothered in creamy dressing nor did I notice it being filled with fattening little extras. I freakin’ kid you not, the salad was over 1,000 calories and the thin crust pizza was 985. Okay, not a slenderizing meal either way you look at it, but holy cannoli, Batgirl, who knew?
I know, right? The pizza would’ve been so much better, too! Live and learn, I guess.
And you know the worst part of it, Jen? The freakin’ calorie counts were on the menu the entire time, but the straunt had obviously spent a whole lot of time finding a font that did not pop out at you. A serious duh-you-moron moment for me.
LOLOL… Love it! That 10 servings thing has definitely happened to me countless times!
I hear you, Nicky. The food manufacturers are counting on our slip ups. And yeah, that’s because when you see a portion that looks right for ONE person — you don’t always think to check for the servings. Somehow, AFTER we have eaten the offending calorie-high food, we then notice it had enough servings to feed an army — of ANTS. YIP, Molly
Thank you Molly. You make a sound argument for skipping carrot cake, the body’s counterargument being, “Me want carrot cake! Me bother you until you eat carrot cake! Then me make you feel bad for eating carrot cake!”
I don’t know why the body sounds like cookie monster.
You remind me of my Intergalactic Correspondent, Alien Jones, a longtime critic of cheese stuffed crust pizza:
http://bookshelfbattle.com/2015/02/26/intergalactic-awesomeness/
Good luck with your books, blog, etc.