Apr 10 2011
Greetings, cool peeps:
Most people don’t wake up thinking to themselves, “Today I’m going to think about signs.” Unless you’re a sign maker, an astrologer, or a person getting ready to test for your driver’s license, it’s doubtful you’d have that thought.
Signs are a huge part of our everyday lives, both the tangible and the intangible ones. Those of us looking for love don’t like to acknowledge the signs that our potential soul mate is not really into us, such as: forgetting our name, forgetting our date, and forgetting our existence. Those are the duh-you-moron-get-it-now signs, but there are more subtle signs, like those we pick up with a faraway glance, a change in voice inflection, or an apathetic response to a loving gesture.
There are, of course, astrological signs. I used to dig astrology until I graduated from high school and began meeting men in public haunts. “What’s your sign?” unless expressly relevant in a conversation, is a sign in itself that you need to run to the nearest EXIT, or better yet, point the asker in the direction of one. Anyone who uses that as an opening line has nothing to say and I promise, doesn’t know squat about astrology, anyway. After meeting my fill of whats-your-signers, my sign became STOP. Just stop.
I always love it when I’m traveling on the interstate and see this one.
And every time I see this sign, I have the same reaction.
Yeah, I slow down my car, but still I expect to see my last bad date standing on the road ahead.
Signs are everywhere. Sometimes it’s important to double up on them in case you don’t get the idea the first time around. Like right here. I’m wondering why there isn’t a third sign: “NO, WE REALLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO GO LEFT.”
Then there are signs that leave you scratching your head. Like this one I saw in a parking garage.
What do they mean by MONTHLY EXIT? I’m serious, peeps, who stays in a freakin’ parking garage for a month?
Here’s a masterpiece from the pharmacy.
Get a flu shot and get a chance to win a gift. I’m guessing that getting a flu shot one place is as good as another. But let’s get real: I’m not going to get mine in the pharmacy just to “get a chance to win a gift.” Whose brilliant brainchild was this? WTF do I “get a chance” to win? Do I care? Do flu shots and gifts even go together? I think not!
Here’s a charming sign.
BAIL BONDS. ANY JAIL. ANY TIME. Chances are that if you are really in need of this service, you’re probably not going to see this sign at the optimal time. But it’s good to know places like this exist. Any jail, any time. That certainly gives me comfort.
I love this charming sign.
Why is this sign in the middle of BFE? This important warning should be mass-produced and hung on every establishment where people meet one another. I’m guessing this sign isn’t about the same kinds of snakes and serpents I meet at happy hour. But that would be a totally rad idea!
And last, I’ll leave you with this sign, and a warning to read carefully. If you don’t, you might be very disappointed.
So tell me, cool peeps, what are your favorite signs?
See you next week.
Yours in pickiness,